Fathers, visit your children at school

We are currently in the busy season of school visiting days (VDs). During school visits, you get to get connected, know your child's academic progress, bond, advise or encourage the child in all possible ways, and leave more pocket money on top of the goodies parents give their children. The parents get to interact with their children's teachers, and if there are challenges a child is facing, such interactions can help. If a child has issues with a teacher, this could be an opportunity to interface with both and resolve the issue.

It is understandable that some parents find it hard to attend such visiting days for genuine reasons. Among these are busy schedules, financial constraints, sicknesses, and other issues that may arise on the day.

More mothers are always seen on VDs than fathers. When fathers try to make it, mothers are still more engaging with the child than the daddy. Some fathers make it worse and remain in the car while the child is eating with the mother. Others come but have a short time to be with the child. In short, they only come to present themselves and be on record visiting the child which is better than not coming at all. But they don’t create time to interact with the child or the school administration.

Some fathers come with newspapers and they remain busy reading or are on endless phone calls and WhatsApp as the mothers and siblings are catching up with the child. At the end of the day, there was no emotional and social attachment to your child except for physical engagement. Please fathers, if you decide to visit your child(ren), make it a priority and put it in your program. Let that day be for your child(ren) and school engagement. If you can afford to hustle the whole month, year in and out looking for their upkeep, why not create that one day and be fully with the child?

Such days are always programmed in advance and sent to you in a school circular at the end of the term. You have no excuse for putting it aside. If there is an emergency that day and it necessitates you to just drop by and go back, still let your child emotionally feel your coming. Leave a lasting impact on his/her memory.

When you visit, don’t miss interacting with the teachers and checking on the child’s academic performance. Get to know where the child has challenges and discuss together with the child the areas of improvement. Where the child is performing well in different aspects, give a word of inspiration.

Some children eat fees, don’t attend classes for different reasons, and have health challenges that they fear sharing with parents but the senior man/woman may know. Some children misbehave at school but are very polite back home. This is a chance to get to discover what you don’t know much about your child. The compliments from schoolmates, teachers, and other school members can help you to identify who your child is.

These VDs also help us to know what other parents bring for their children that you take for granted. You are able to decide on your own what your child deserves during such visits. Therefore, as fathers and generally parents, we should never miss school visits and meeting days. Aim at creating a conducive atmosphere that leaves a lasting positive impression on your child. If you know you can’t make it as a parent, better inform the school administration and the child so that the school can fill the gap for you. Or share with some parents that you know who can visit your child rather than leaving your child like an orphan. It hurts when a child sees others enjoying good things and for them, they are expecting in vain; no communication at all or a clear answer. Be in your child’s life today, they will also be in your life tomorrow. You reap what you sow!

The writer is the Executive Director of Hope Regeneration Africa, parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder – Men of Purpose Mentorship Program.